Life's Great Mysteries - How many pairs of underwear should people own?

Hey, you know how my mind works... every mystery, no matter how odd, is worth contemplating. This is an important question! Occasionally, I run out of underwear. Especially if I have just packed a bunch of them for a trip. It happens. So, what’s the ideal number? When considering this, I thought maybe the number should be different for men and women, then I decided there was no reason to assume such a thing.

I searched far and wide for a definitive answer. Almost universally, the sources I found recommended that people have about twenty-five to thirty pairs of underwear. For the average person, this is enough to make sure you never run out.

However, every person is different. So, I found a formula for calculating the best number of underwear specifically for you. As a service to humankind, I offer my optimized version of this formula (you're welcome):

Step 1: How often do you wash your underwear? I actually found a survey of 2,790 men and women about how often they wash their underwear. 64% of men and 68% of women wear their underwear once before washing. Okay, cool. They also found that 22% of men and 18% of women wear their underwear twice before washing them. And… (drum roll) 5% of men and 7% of women wear their underwear at least FIVE times before washing. Most of those (about 75%) turn them inside out each time they put them back on. Anyway, let’s assume you wear yours once, and you do laundry once per week. This means you need at least seven pairs.

Step 2: Add underwear for exercise. Let’s assume you wear a fresh pair of underwear whenever you exercise. If you exercise five days a week, add five more pairs. That puts you at twelve pairs.

Step 3: Calculate in extra underwear that are your favorites for different outfits and activities. Different undies for different situations, right? This might apply more to women than men, due to the fact that women have more types of outfits to choose from. But maybe not… I have my special lucky underwear for when I go fishing. Let’s say you have three different types of underwear suitable for specific types of situations. Depending on how often those situations occur, add to your number. For this example, let’s add five pairs. This puts you at seventeen pairs.

Step 4: Do you go on long trips? If you sometimes go on trips that last three weeks or longer, where you cannot do laundry, add another five pairs, putting you at twenty-two pairs.

Step 5: Add another five pairs just for good measure. Your washing machine could break down. You might get really motivated to do two workouts per day. Whatever. This puts you at twenty-seven pairs.

See? Those original estimates of twenty-five to thirty pairs were spot on. If you have fewer, you may want to grab some more next time you’re shopping. If you have fifty or sixty pairs already, well, you may have an obsession.